Subject: That new CD smell Date: 9/30/2009 12:23:26 PM Body: Is there anything like that new CD smell? The anticipation builds as you take its measure and gently run your fingers across the front of her jewel case, caressing her 14mm spine. Letting your mind wonder, you imagine her six-panel insert spread longingly before you, inviting your pursuit. What must her tray card feel like, you wonder? Would it be creamy and smooth or cool with a porous texture? Suddenly, you are in a wanton state. Your animal instincts take over, as you uncontrollably tear the cellophane away from her body with abandon. I must have her, you say. This is my rightful portion on the earth you proclaim. Oh wait! I’m sorry, I was thinking about something entirely different. WHOO! let me catch my breath. Unfortunately, nobody gets too excited about new CDs anymore. It seems that anyone can make a CD, hence the ocean of music. However, a great CD is still an accomplishment. Notwithstanding, recently it has occurred to me that I wouldn’t be the first artist in history to suffer the cruel fate of being dead and gone before his or her art was discovered. I try not to think about it. It gets me depressed. Yet, nothing moves product like a Morrison, Joplin, Hendrix, Elvis, Cobain or Jackson narrative. I don’t want it to sound like that I’m not committed to my music but I stopped using drugs when my kids where born. It’s not that I’m opposed to self-destructive behavior. It is just that a good drug habit can be expense and, with the recession, it’s just not a good time for me to start any new bad habits. Plus, even though you tell yourself that you will only buy drugs from nice drug dealers, you know that sooner or later you’ll be hanging out with thugs.Besides, sitting alone in a dark room, cursing the darkness until the bitter bile chokes the life from my body, just doesn’t sound like the way to go. To be honest, I always thought that I would go out like Butch and Sundance, in a hail of gunfire, with a freeze frame and credits rolling. At this point my strategic action plan consists of two action items. A) Get out of Indiana. I have my house on the market. You can’t sell a bottle of Château Latour at Johnny’s Discount Liquor and Smokes. B) Finish the new CD. On a personal note to anyone whose life is upside down because of the financial crisis and has caught him or herself saying “I don’t know what I’m going to do.†My pop used say in situations like this: “the good news is that you should have plenty of company.†It is sometimes comforting to realize that you’re not alone. Subject: Great Bank Heist of 08-Part Eight- Date: 9/30/2009 12:22:28 PM Body: The Great Bank Heist of 08Part Eight- hard soil, thorns and thistlesThe Circuit Court came to town twice a year and with the civil suit set for hearing before Judge Perddy next month, old man Frakes started turning up the heat. The thought that Ray Parson was a crook never even entered anyone’s mind, until old man Frakes began repeatedly denying that Ray was a crook. He never accused Ray of impropriety. He just implied it with statements like: “I refuse to believe that Ray Parson was part of any illegal activity†and “I’m sure that there is a perfectly legitimate explanation.“ The core point was the fact that Ray took most of his money out of the Frakes National Bank before the financial crisis. The truth of the matter is that the reason Ray took his money out of Frakes National had nothing to do with insider information. Tom Walker is the Vice President of Frakes and also old man Frakes son-in-law. As Ray puts it: “ there is a limit to how much stupid I can listen to in one twenty four hour period and ten minutes with Tom Walker puts me over that limit.†So Ray moved most of his money to a small bank in Snook, which is about seventy-five miles west of Beulah.The front page of the Beulah Beacon of Truth had a picture of Ray and in bold print the words Et eu Brute were crossed out and replaced with Et eu Ray. Translated it means, “you too Ray?†They are the famous last words of Julius Caesar, spoken as Brutus plunged the knife into him. Fortunately for Ray, Beulah wasn’t exactly a Shakespeare kind of town and the reference went completely over most peoples’ heads. However, with the constant association of the words Ray and crook, people began to wonder if old man Frakes knew something that they didn’t know. Earl Yates pulled the sheriff aside and asked him if Ray was going to jail. Ray is not going to go to jail, replied the sheriff. Is it because he’s your brother-in-law, he asked? The sheriff lost his patience. No you dumbass. That has noting to do with it. Ray hasn’t been charged with a crime, nor is there any evidence to suggest that he did anything wrong. Earl, have you ever known Ray to lie or steal? Nope he said. I guess you’re right sheriff. Ray’s a good old boy but if he does go to jail do you think they would still let me fish on his property? With arms flailing about the sheriff just turned and walked away. I don’t have time for idiots, he mumbled.If it bothered Ray, it sure didn’t show. A few days later he showed up at the sheriff’s office where he engaged in their usual banter. Making his usual dramatic entrance, Ray walked into the sheriff’s office and proceeded with the ritual. Cletus he said, can you help me over to the chair. It’s so hard for me to get around with only nine toes. The sheriff rolled his eyes. Here we go, he said. This again? Is it poor Ray time again, already? You shoot a man one time and he thinks that he can hold it over your head forever. Why Sheriff I have no idea what you are talking about, replied Ray. Ok Ray, old buddy, you win. He hands Ray his gun. Go ahead and shoot any toe that you want. Personally, I’ve never liked the little one on the right. Go ahead, it will be worth it not to have to listen to your whining anymore. Ray takes the gun and aims it. WO-RAY-WO-RAY. I said my toe. SON- THAT AINT MY TOE THAT YOU ARE POINTING AT! Need I remind you that your sister has become obsessed about having a baby? Not a day goes by without the subject coming up. The woman has turned one of my favorite activities into a regular job. Ray put the gun down. You poor thing. I had no idea, he said with sarcastic tone. Anyway, I just came by to tell you that I heard about Brantley. That’s a damn shame. The sheriff shrugged his shoulders and said I saw the man two nights before and he didn’t look suicidal to me. He had even agreed to meet with Perlman. What do you mean sheriff? Are you saying that you think that Brantley was murdered? We will never know the answer to that question, Ray. I took Newt’s dogs up top on the trestle but by the time we got up there the scent was cold. All I’m saying is that in all of my years, I’ve never known someone with a wife and kids, a mistress and plenty secretes to commit suicide without leaving a note. Anyway, I’m not worried about Brantley. I’m worried about Ray. I read the article in the paper. How are you holding up? What is happening to this town? Beulah used to be a nice place. Now I feel like I’m stuck in some kind of bad amateur novel. Ray laughed. Well buddy, don’t you worry about old Ray. I’m doing just fine. I spoke to Hobbs and he told me to ignore it. He said that the more I try to deny it, the more my name will be associated with the word crook. Still, I have to admit that it bothered me when Eugene asked me if it was true. I’ll tell you Ray, I could put my boot right up that man’s ass. Sheriff it is nothing, really. Forget about it. This is nothing compared to what my folks went through. Did I ever tell you the story of how my family wound up in Beulah? I was three years old and Marry was a baby when we moved here. Millie wasn’t even born. This town was called Yellow Wood back then, with a population of 143 people. Can you believe that? Pop used to always say: “Raymond, don’t let the soil get hard. The only things that grow in hard soil are thorns and thistles.†I never knew what he meant until one day when his health was failing. I sat with him and he told me the story of how we moved to here. They had pastured a small church in Blytheville Arkansas for five years. Pop always welcomed everyone that walked through the church doors. One day a black couple came to the church and he welcomed them like he did everyone else. That night someone wrote nigger lovers on the church and then things got bad. After a months of horrific events, pop came home and told my mom, this ground is too hard to grow anything but thorns and thistles. Let’s move west, he said. Do you have any place in mind, she asked? He told me that he looked down and noticed a hymnal was opened to the song Beulah Land and with a big smile, he said I want to move to Beulah Land. Mom smiled and said I hear that Beulah Land is very nice this time of year. They resigned the church, packed up and headed west. Eventually they wound up here. When they held the very first church service, he turned to my mom and said: “welcome to Beulah Land Mildred.†They put a sign out front that said “First Christian Church of Beulah.†From that day on and until the day he died, he opened every service with “welcome to Beulah.†A few years later they changed the name of the town to Beulah and the rest, as they say, is history. TO BE CONTINUED! Subject: Bank Heist of 08-Part Seven Date: 9/21/2009 10:38:52 PM Body: The Great Bank Heist of 08Part Seven- ExparteSometimes a criminal case can be much harder to prove than a civil lawsuit. In a civil case, the burden of proof is a preponderance of the evidence. In other words, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it’s a duck. In a criminal case, the burden of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt. The fact that evolution happens could provide a foundation for reasonable doubt and if the duck hires a good enough lawyer, he could walk. It is better to error on the side of caution than to risk hanging an innocent duck. However, the sheriff was about to learn of an entirely different justice system. When it comes to the union between a man and a woman, the gears of justice operate quite differently. In this court there is something called exparte. It’s Latin and it means “by one side.†With exparte, a man can be judged and be found guilty without having a chance to defend himself. Oftentimes the actions of a fellow traveler can be grounds for conviction. The logic works like this: a fellow traveler was a man and he was found guilty. You are a man. Therefore, you must be guilty too. There is no such thing as habeas corpus in this courtroom. Arguing with the judge is futile. A man must throw himself at the mercy of the court and beg forgiveness. It was another dreary day in Beulah. It had been raining all morning, when Cletus walked into the office and handed the sheriff a note. It was from Millie. Please come home it said. He rode home in the rain, only to find her sobbing. Honey, what is the matter, he asked? With tears running down her cheeks. I just talked to Beverly Brantley and she said that Jack is having an affair. Relieved that it wasn’t anything serious, he took a deep breath. Oh that, he said. Staring at him incredulously, she said oh that? James did you know about this? A little voice inside his head said “don’t do it man. Just say no and this whole thing goes away.†Yes Millie I knew about it, he said with a defensive tenor in his voice. The little voice replied, “ boy ain’t you just plumb stupid!†James, I thought that we weren’t going to keep secretes from each other. What else do you know about that you’re not telling? Look Millie, I know lots of things about lots of people but there is an implied social contract of confidentiality here. If I started talking about what I know about the sex lives and personal affairs of the people around here, we would literally be taken out to the edge of town and stoned to death. Did your dad talk about people? Don’t you think that he heard all the dirty little secretes? Personally, I have no idea what prevented him from standing up on Sunday and saying: “you are all going to Hell and as far as I’m concerned you deserve it.†James, that’s a terrible thing to say. Well Millie, what can I say. I’m just a terrible person. Maybe, you should have married Brantley. He has always carried a major blowtorch for you. I can’t believe this. The man wrecks the bank. He wrecks the town. He wrecks his marriage and now he’s working on wrecking my marriage too. Let’s move Bauer and get the Hell out of this lousy town. We can build a place on the Schnuck like we’ve always talked about. James you can’t run from your problems, she said. Well then darling, if you don’t want to move and you’re done bitching at me, I need to get back to work. James before you go, Beverly left these papers for you. She’s taking the kids and moving back east. She needs for you to serve Jack with the divorce papers. Upon returning to town the sheriff’s first stop was at young Miss Marsha’s house. She opened the door. She stood there with her blue eyes, creamy skin and voluptuous breasts. Old Jack always had a good eye for the ladies, he thought. Is Jack here? No sheriff, he left with the Federal investors yesterday and I haven’t seen him since. Is anything wrong? I have something for him and really need to find him. Sheriff, if I see him, I’ll tell him that you are looking for him. Looking down to avoid eye contact, Mr. Bramwell she said. I know what you must think of me. Miss Parson was my Sunday school teacher. I want you to know that it’s not what you think. Don’t tell me, he said. I bet that Jack buys you expensive gifts and tells you that you are beautiful. Mr. Bramwell, she said, would you explain to Miss Parson for me? He cracked a slight smile, I’m not sure that Miss Parson considers me a creditable character reference these days but I’ll see what I can do. I know that what I’m about to say is going to go in one ear and out the other but my advice to you is to move on. You are way too young for this trail of tears. Bye the way, she is now called Mrs. Bramwell.After going through town looking for Jack, he ran into Eli Pratt. Jack is down at the Wagon Wheel, he said. He’s been buying drinks all day. The sheriff walked into the Saloon. The place was packed and there in the corner was Jack Brantley. He hadn’t seen Brantley since that day in Willrow’s office. Jack looked like he had aged twenty years since then. Sheriff! Let me buy you a drink. No thank you Jack, unfortunately I’m here on business. I have to give you these papers. What are these? They are divorce papers. Beverly is divorcing you. Jack didn’t look surprised. So she finally did it, he said. Well, I wish her the best. I hope that she finds happiness. You know sheriff she never did really love me. She’s just like the rest. They all love old Jack for the money. Well baby, the money is all gone now. Where did the money go, asked the sheriff? Do you really want to know, he replied? Sit down sheriff and I’ll tell you. Look Jack, I have to warn you that anything that you say can and will be used against you. That’s what I like about you sheriff. There are no hidden agendas with you. You’re a good man, even if you did steal Millie from me. You’ve got you a real a peach there, my friend.Leaning back in his chair, so you want to know where the money went. Aren’t you assuming something here, sheriff? What would that be Jack? Aren’t you’re assuming that the money existed in the first place? Have you ever wondered how a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar withdraw could cause a bank with assets of over a million dollars to fail? Have you ever wondered why Frakes is always yapping about how the government is picking on him? It’s all part of the smoke and mirrors routine that Frakes and Willrow have going on. They got rich on kickbacks and fees, while that money went into the pockets of crooked railroad bosses. If they think that I’m going to take the fall for them, I’ve got another thing coming. Old Jack ain’t nobody’s fool. So Jack, what you’re saying is that Willrow and old man Frakes knew about the cardboard people. Come on sheriff. What do you think? Of course they did. Jack, if I get you a deal with the prosecutor, would you be willing to testify? Sure sheriff. The sheriff’s next stop was the post office. Eugene, he said, I need to send this telegraph to Mr. Noah Perlman in Bauer. He handed him a piece of paper. The words read: “Dear sir, Jack Brantley has agreed to fully cooperate in the Frakes investigation in exchange for consideration.†This needs to go out right away, the sheriff instructed. And Eugene he said, this is confidential. There are only two of us that know about this. If it leaks out, I’ll know who to come looking for. I understand Mr. Bramwell, he replied. It was eight O’clock on Wednesday morning, when the door to the sheriff’s office opened and Shelby Likens walked in. Sheriff, he said, Jack Brantley’s body was found at the bottom of the Gats River Gorge. Jack must have jumped off of the railroad trestle and fell a thousand feet to his death. TO BE CONTINUED! Subject: Ross was Right Date: 7/21/2009 11:19:07 PM Body: I’m also posting this on my new blog. http://butchcastetter.wordpress.com Regan was the cowboy. Bush senior was the war hero. Clinton was the playboy. G.W. Bush was the television evangelist, vowing to run a tight ship and make straight the crooked way. We will be reading about his shenanigans for the next fifty years. So now we have Obama, the savior. I don’t envy this guy. History shows that people can be a little hard on saviors. He is going to have to be able to do more than just walk on water to fix this mess. We need someone that can open blinded eyes, raise the dead, run the moneychangers out of the temple and also understands Keynesian economics. . If you make a string of bad decisions, eventually your decisions are already made for you and you don’t have a choice. When the water is up to your ankles, you don’t worry about it. When the water is up to your knees, you worry a little. But, when you start to feel the sensation of cold water splashing against your testicles, you should start to think that maybe this could be serious. Moreover, when you throw 700 billion at a problem and it doesn’t even budge that tells you, whatever this is, it’s bigger than we could have ever imagined. Worst case, this is just the tip of the iceberg and it is two miles to the bottom. I honestly believe that the subprime was just the tip of the iceberg. The real problem is that the books have been cooked to a point that would boggle the mind. Think about it. Derivatives and securitization are perfect ways to cook the books. If you falsify numbers, you go to jail. However, if you come up with a sophisticated black box that is so complicated and so convoluted that no one understands it then you didn’t falsify the numbers. The black box did it and you just got some bad intelligence. However now the jig is up. An estimated nine trillion dollars of capital cashed out and walked right before the melt down. They are too smart to buy these black boxes. Hence, the black box that was once worth millions is now only worth a thousand bucks. Prima facie is the fact that the banks convinced congress to not make them disclose the value of their toxic assets. Why? Because if people knew the silos were empty, consumer confidence would drop to zero. I think that banks aren’t loaning money because they don’t have the money to loan. In 1992 Ross Perot made his famous “giant sucking sound†statement and we laughed at him. We never did hear a giant sucking sound. In fact, life was good. Life was real good but I have a bad-bad feeling that the reason we never heard it is because the books were cooked. A trade deficit means that more money is going out than coming in. Common sense would indicate that that is not sustainable. We kept building condos and strip malls. The stock market and our home values kept going up and that masked the sound of a steady state of decline. We have been led astray by an overly simplistic metaphor used to represent a highly complex subject. We think of a free market as a finely tuned artificial construct that is governed by the evolutionary rules of the jungle. Survival of the fittest is ingrained into our psyche. The dying of an old company is a good thing because it makes room for a new more efficient company. Any human intervention would lead to a cataclysmic disaster. Well, it is a good thing if there is a new company but if you keep replacing something with zero long enough it means extinction. Right now we have major sectors of our economy on the endangered species list. Education and retraining is good but you can’t develop microchips in your basement using baking soda and corn syrup. Plato said that what space is to size, time is to value. In the jungle, the space is the watering hole and the time can range from tens to thousands of years. Weaker species die off and predators overtake the land. They get taken over by bigger predators. In the jungle, technical corrections are made through acts of God such as fire, flood, drought and disease. However, in this particularly construct, we play God. We are supposed to be the stewards of the land. We rely on the land for our livelihood and ignore our responsibilities at our own peril. Anything too big to fail should have never been allowed to get that big in first place. “Wisdom crieth, the foolish woman is clamorous.†Politics are behind our binary thinking. There is a right side and a wrong side on an issue. You’ve got to be on one side or the other. Either you’re a protectionist or you’re a free trader. Under the current circumstances neither extreme is desirable. Either your driving around in overpriced junky cars or a large part of your population is on government assistance. We are the country with the most Nobel Peace Prize Laureates and best universities in the world. Yet, we seem to be the most gullible people on the face of the planet. If you hire a few slick talkers, you can get us to march lockstep stupid straight off a cliff. Let’s face it, it is lonely marching alone. Those people tend to be the butt of a lot of jokes. Tell Ross, we are sorry for laughing at him. We are being sucked dry.We are over deep water right now. I’m not crazy about using the good china to bail water and some people say that the ship won’t sink if we stop bailing. All I know is that there aren’t enough lifeboats. Our solution is simple. We need to bring some money into the country that is in the form of revenue and not debt. Sincerely,Your friendly singer-songwriter/country fixer personButch Castetter Subject: Great Bank Heist -Part Five Date: 7/13/2009 3:07:12 PM Body: The Great Bank Heist of 08Part Five- Old Man FrakesOne hundred miles north, nestled in the borough of Bauer County, is a tributary to the mighty Shanuck River. Once a year Ray goes fishing there with his two lawyer buddies Denton and Hobbs. Bauer County is also where the state capital is located.At three forty five today, a telegraph addressed to Mr. Ray Parson came. It was from a Mr. Silas Hobbs and said: “I thought that you might like to know that a formal request for an inquiry into the failure of the Frakes National Bank, located in Beulah, was filed today. Saddle-up boys, the circus is coming to town.“Before Ray even got the telegraph, everyone in town already knew about it. Sheriff, did you hear the good news? The Feds are coming and they are going to get our money back for us. The Sheriff thought this should wipe that smirk off of Brantley’s face. The next morning when the five ninety-seven arrived at the train station, on it was special prosecutor Noah Perlman. He went to Cornell. That is an Ivy League school. I know this because the first thing that he told me when we met was I’m special prosecutor Noah Perlman. I went to Cornell. That is an Ivy League school. The sheriff was waiting for us back at his office. Welcome to Beulah. My name is James Bramwell. I am the sheriff and this is my deputy Cletus. I want to thank you for coming. If there is anything that you need at all, just let us know and we will be more than glad to help. Here is my report. As you can see from the report, I think that a gentleman named Jack Brantley found out about the cardboard people and exploited the situation. Here are the supporting documents and we have several eyewitnesses that have agreed to testify. Thank you sheriff but? How should I put this? These are complex matters that require specialized knowledge. No offense but you are simply not qualified to write this report. I would like to conduct my own investigation before coming to at any conclusions. What I really need is to use your office. If you want to take a couple of days off, I’ll see to it that you get paid. Thank you in advance for your cooperation. The sheriff’s decorum showed real growth. It has been told that the first time the sheriff met his future father-in-law, he walked up to him and said my name is James Bramwell. I shot at your church bell, I accidentally shot your son’s toe off and I’m going to marry your daughter. Actually the sheriff seemed relieved to be off the case. Unfortunately, it was a relief that would be short lived. Over the next two days Perlman conducted his grand inquisition and, while it was yet to be determined what kind of investigator he was, one thing was obvious. He had a special gift for pissing people off. The whole town was on edge. Old man Frakes demanded a town hall meeting. At first, the sheriff sat back and quietly listened while Willrow went on about looking to the future but when old man Frakes took the podium things got interesting. We pay all of these tax dollars and have a right to know why the law has failed us so miserably. That was just too much for the sheriff to take. He stood up and said do you really want to have this conversation here? Two years ago, I warned you about Brantley. Did you listen? NO!!! You were too busy lecturing. All I’ve heard from you for the past two years is that the law is holding you back. The government is in your way. You’re a self made man. Government is for a lesser man but not you because of your superior intelligence and strength of character. Now look at you! I don’t see you pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. I have one question for you and I want an answer. Did you or did you not know about the cardboard people? Sir, I find that question insulting. Answer the question because, as I see it, you are either a crook or you are even dumber than I could have ever imagined. Sheriff I don’t have to put up with this, my taxes pay your salary.Still seething, the sheriff went home. It was pork chop night but his mood was subdued. They went to bed early and woke up to the sound of someone shooting at the church bell. The sheriff put on his clothes and went down to investigate.Ray? It’s one in the morning. What the hell are you doing? Hey buddy. I’ve got some of Cecil’s sour mash. Won’t you join me for a toast? Here’s to Beulah. Cheers! I hear that you put on quite a show today. First Brantley and now old man Frakes, you’re starting to make some pretty powerful enemies here. Well Ray, I’m just doing my job. Maybe you need to learn to walk a little softer. You watch Ray, when they get done with this investigation the whole town will thank me. Well, I am not so sure about that. I talked to Hobbs and he said that this Perlman guy couldn’t find a cow patty in the middle of a four-post bed. I hate to be the one to tell you this but they aren’t focusing on Brantley, they’re focusing on you. ME!!!!!!! FOR WHAT? They claim that you are incompetent. When you go into the office tomorrow, Willrow is going to ask you for your resignation. Ironic isn’t it? They are going to fire you for incompetence and put Cletus in charge. You can laugh Ray but they are assassinating my character. What are you going to do about it? Do you want to sit here drinking all night and feeling sorry for yourself or would you rather get even? What do you mean? I mean Mathew 10:16. Do you mind spelling it out for me? “I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.†Ray, you should have been a preacher. What? I would have to give up chasing women? Do you want me to die young?Look, you might not be able to put them in jail but you can keep them looking over their shoulders for you. Ray you lost me. We both know that they want Cletus so they can get rid of the evidence but I happen to know that, five minutes before the court closed today, the law firm of Denton and Hobbs filed a civil case. As part of the discovery motion, this is a request for production of documents. In front of witnesses, you offered these same documents to the special prosecutor and he rejected them. Therefore, it is your duty as sheriff to turn these documents over to Denton and Hobbs. As it so happens, I’m going to Bauer tonight and, as a notary, I can sign and deliver them for you. Sheriff, you look a little sick, you might not want to go to work tomorrow, if you know what I mean. Hey Ray~ thanks. I mean it. Look, I’m just doing this for my little sister. Besides, I never did like old man Frakes. He tried to charge me a service fee for using my own money. What kind of bank does that to their customers? TO BE CONTINUED! Subject: Meet the New Boss Date: 7/9/2009 1:35:55 PM Body: It rains on the just and the unjust but cruelty is always offensive. Elvis was the beginning of the machine and Michael Jackson was the end of it. Ironically, both ended up in a wretched state and dying an early death. Some people say that that is just the price of fame but I don’t buy it. You don’t see George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Brad and Angelina facedown in a cesspool do you? Clearly there is something inherently neurotic about musicians. There is a famous story about a young couple that walked in late to an Isaac Stern concert. He stopped the music and started publicly berating them about their utter thoughtlessness. Yet, even with the brow beating in classical music you don’t hear about Izhak Perlman engaged in self-destruction. Of course, in classical music, it’s about talent and not sales. The old music business had a dark under belly that went beyond the drugs. We had a whole generation that aspired to be rich and famous. That didn’t work out too well. People were considered disposable commodities. They served at the pleasure of others and could be summarily dismissed at any time without cause and abuse was tolerated. That would be like working at Enron where you don’t question things. Think of where you work and imagine that one-day they hired a new manager. His name is Simon Cowell. At a meeting someone presents an idea on how the company can save money. When the person gets done, Simon says that is the dumbest thing that I’ve ever heard. What is the matter with you? No wait, don’t tell me, let me guess. I bet that your mother gave you bathes up until high school. I can’t stand to look at you. Please go you’re making me physically nauseous. Chances are that you would start to look for another company to work for but what if they were the only company in town? Even John Mellencamp talks like somebody shot his puppy dog. He needs to tune out the so-called experts. Someone has convinced him that he needs to be John, the patriotic crooner. My advice to Mellencamp would be to kiss and make up with Larry Crane and go back to doing what you do best. That would be writing songs with edgy guitars about being broke, horny and frustrated. The good news is that the Simon Cowell’s are dinosaurs. The bad news is that the company is going out of business. Worse yet, people are too busy to take the time to sort through a hundred songs to find the one or two new songs that they like. They either stop listening or just listen to what they already know. All is not lost though. The truth be known, more original music gets introduced to the masses through TV and movies than in radio or the music business. The movie people understand the power of music. When they listen to a song, they listen for a fit and could care less about how many copies it sold. If you think that I’m kidding let me ask you this. Do you know the song Man of Constant Sorrow? If you said yes, do you think that you would have ever heard this song if it wasn’t for the movie O’ Brother Where Art Thou? I like the new boss. He values art above money. Just like in the music business, the movie business makes the bulk of its money from taking a handsome face with a known name and putting it with a known formula, i.e. Pretty Woman, Ocean’s 13, Die Hard. However, an unknown, low budget, movie called Slum Dog Millionaire wins eight Oscar’s. The old boss would have never let an unsigned artist win out over the name brand product. Every time one door closes, another door opens. Better times are ahead! . Subject: tribal drums. Date: 6/25/2009 1:52:11 PM Body: Do you hear the drums? I’m not talking about normal drums. For the next fifty years there will be gnashing of teeth and heated arguments over whether we should have gone with the bailout or risked the second great depression but that is what healthy and normal people do. They argue about money and who gets to be in charge. Then they move on with their lives. Some people take it a little more personal than others and some people complain more than others but in general it’s a healthy situation. I am talking about the beating of tribal drums. It puts people on edge. Things get personal and things get very nasty. Like doctors being shot in churches and Letterman having to explain why people shouldn’t think that he is a pedophile. Oh, and Miss California getting fired. Personally, I never bought her story about the pictures. If my ex-wife’s top blew off and someone took her picture, you would see a picture of one pissed off woman. Trust me, I’ve seen that look many times before. However, you need not look any further than the Miss America pageant if you want to see how the pounding of tribal drums can put blood in the water. This is a beauty pageant not a Supreme Court nomination. Anyone who has ever seen a picture of the Supreme Court knows that none of those people have ever been Miss America contestants. Not only do I think the question was inappropriate but also I have a problem with the pharisaical tone in the voice. You can almost hear drums pounding in the background Boom-Boom-Boom “what saith ye on this matter?†Yet, Miss California’s pain will not have been in vain if just one person can learn from her misfortune. The lesson here is that when you hear tribal drums pounding, it is best to use good old-fashioned insincerity and platitudes. If the Dixie Chicks had learned this they would still be the darlings of country music and not the terrorist loving outcasts that we’ve came to know and love today. If in doubt, you can never go wrong using Shakespeare. It sounds real pretty and people won’t have a clue what the hell you’re talking about. Miss California could have said: “How could anyone say it better than Shakespeare? Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark.†When someone asks you a loaded question, with only thirty seconds to respond, you toss a big old heaping shovel of bullshit on them and says oops sorry. When we look back in history we will find that the Dixie Chicks weren’t the only people to criticize Bush and that Miss California’s answer wasn’t malice. They just happened to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Is it any wonder that we are broke in this country?We are kind of like the characters in the movie Hangover. They wake up after the party. The place is trashed. As they try to piece together what happened, they start to realize that they were totally out of control and did some very stupid things. That is us, the party is over and we are in deep dodo. In our collective psyche we thought that someone would stop us, take our keys and call us cab. Instead they just kept charging drinks on our credit card.There is a 50 trillion-dollar payment coming due when the baby boomers retire. We are going to have to figure out a way to come up with the money. A house divided cannot stand. Can you see my frustration? Not only do I have a CD and book to finish but now I have to fix the country too. I would really appreciate it if everyone would just tone it down a little. Thanks. Another chapter of Great Heist is coming soon. Subject: Part Four- Ray Parson. Date: 6/15/2009 7:12:38 PM Body: The Great Bank Heist of 08Part Four- Ray Parson.Ray Parson just returned from a three-month business trip. He owns ten thousand acres outside of town. Ray’s a tuff old piece of gristle. He’s got a thirty-inch scar across his back and an one-eyed grizzly bear head on his wall. As the legend goes, the grizzly came up on old Ray one night and blindsided him. Somehow, he managed to gouge the bear’s right eye out and when the bear pulled back, he grabbed his 45 and shot him. He had to bite down on a piece of wood while they put a hundred and twenty two stitches in his back. Ray and the sheriff go way back. I mean way back, back before the sheriff was the sheriff. Rumor has it that in their younger days, those two had been known to frequent a few brothels and even been known to have been at the center of more than a few barroom brawls. Ray’s dad, the late Reverend Parson, was the pastor at the local church for thirty-two years. Ray is oldest of four kids. He has three sisters: Marry, Martha and Millie. Marry is the music director at the church. Martha married a banker and moved to Boston and Millie was a Sunday school teacher. A fight between them broke out when Ray told the sheriff to stay way from his little sister Millie. However, said fight, promptly ended when the sheriff accidentally shot off one of Ray’s toes. The two share a special bond and express that bond through banter. Only Ray can get away with saying things to the sheriff that nobody else can. Cletus, I hear tale that that dumbass boss of yours held the bank doors open while they carried the money out and, by the way, I love what you’ve done with the place. The boarded up look gives it real a sense of growth potential. It’s like if you look hard enough you can almost envision a town here. Cletus, tell Mr. Parson that if some people didn’t turn tail and run every time they broke a fingernail that this wouldn’t have happened. Well sheriff, had I known that you were going to run the place into the ground, I wouldn’t have left. I thought, it’s only for three months, how bad can he screw things up? Well welcome home Ray, you old tight ass, it’s time for you to reach into those deep pockets of yours and pull out some of that money you’ve been hoarding away.. I never thought that these words would come out of my mouth but “Ray I am glad to see you.†Thanks. Tell me what happened? Jack Brantley took the money. Brantley? You’re kidding me right? That little weasel that’s bangin the young gal? Yup, that’s him. Hell, I wouldn’t even take his check. He wanted to buy some land and wanted to give me a posted dated check. When I told him that I wanted cash, he went into a hissy fit like his panties were in a wad and stormed off. What kind of man writes a check that won’t clear? Well brother, they think that he is Saint Jack around here, my friend. The little bastard is smarter than he looks. Well sheriff, maybe you need to take him aside and have a little prayer meeting. Damn-it Ray you can’t do that! All I’m saying is that I can’t help but to believe that that boy wouldn’t greatly benefit from a boot up his ass. And Ray, I’m telling you that it don’t work that way. Anyway, he’s got something on Willrow. I don’t know what it is but he’s got something on him. I’m sure of it. I’ll find out, even if I have to tear the town apart to do it. Are you gonna hang’em all there sheriff? Yes, if I have to. I’m starting to take a dim view on humanity.You know, before the old man died we’d have these talks. I think that he knew that I wasn’t gonna be no preacher but, I once asked him. Knowing what you know about these people, how can you stand seeing all of those hypocrites at church every Sunday? He said, “Raymond, there are two parts to a person: Who they are and who they want to be. The persona a person projects at church is the person that they want to be. Our job is to help them become that person.“ Sometimes you’ve got to fake it till you make it. Well, we ain’t in church and I ain’t no preacher. Damn-it, right is right and wrong is wrong! Well my friend, you are right about that. You are definitely right about that but would you really want to live in a town where they had a hanging every Saturday? I never told you this before but when they were debating about pinning that badge on you, not everyone was onboard with the idea. It seems that some people took offence to you shooting at the church bell in the middle of the night. Some failed to see the humor in that but the old man spoke up for you. He told them: “he’ll make a dandy sheriff.†Like I said, fake it till you make it.Unfortunately, that was just one of the many disappointments and shattered dreams that we’ve come to expect from you. If you weren’t married to my sister, I would have fired your sorry ass a long time ago. Well brother, much more of this and you’re gonna get your wish. Then we’ll have to move in with you. Ray, it’s catfish night. Want to come over for dinner? You know, Millie thinks that her big brother hung the moon. It’s Ray this and Ray that, Ray, Ray, Ray all day long. I just can’t seem to hear enough about how great Ray is. TO BE CONTINUED!!! Subject: Part Three- Notwithstanding the foregoing. Date: 6/10/2009 1:53:58 PM Body: The Great Bank Heist of 08Part Three- Notwithstanding the foregoing. The prophet Jeremiah is often called the weeping prophet because, with tears, he warned his with fellow countrymen that the Babylonians were coming to conqueror their city. However, his message upset some very powerful people. He was thrown in jail and remained there until the day the Babylonians released him. It was reported that he was later seen weeping as he walked through the streets, watching the city burn to the ground. The sheriff must have felt like Jeremiah as we rode into town that day, with all the stores boarded up and the steady procession of wagons heading back east. Just when it looked like that things couldn’t get any worse, posted on the door of the sheriff’s office was a note. The note read “report to my office immediately.†Signed by Willrow C. Stubbs, the mayor himself. Did you want to see me, Mayor? Yes I did, he replied. What is going on between you and Jack Brantley? Well mayor, the long story short, I think that Brantley is as crooked as a dog’s hind leg. Sheriff, you won’t get very far in this town badmouthing Brantley. Besides, chairing most of the committees and collecting money for orphans, he holds regular bible studies. By the way, have you seen him? I can’t find him anywhere. I went to his house and his wife said that he is at work but when I stopped by his office, they said that he hadn’t been there. The sheriff walks towards the door. I think I know where he is. He opens the door. Cletus, run over to young Miss Marsha’s house and tell Jack that the Mayor wants to see him immediately and tell him to bring his paperwork. But sheriff, what would Jack be doing there? Let’s just say that he is bible learning that girl. Ten minutes later, Jack arrives and drops off a box of documents. As he is walking out the door, he turns towards the sheriff and says I am disappointed that you could even think that I would be involved in anything unethical. Well Jack, what can I say? I’m all torn up about it. Please give my best to Beverly and the kids. The sheriff starts perusing the documents. I don’t believe this. This is BS. What are you talking about? Look right here ~ there are thirteen ponderous paragraphs going into great detail about disbursement schedules, notices, equity ratios and depository requests. Then this one little paragraph that says “notwithstanding the foregoing, Brantley Investments reserves the right to demand any amount it deems necessary for operations.†Sheriff, what does that mean? It means we’re screwed. Knowing that they wouldn’t read it, Brantley sent a copy of this contract to the cardboard people. To who? The cardboard people, you know those federal reserve boys. They are supposed to regulate the banks. When the Feds didn’t reject it, he claimed tacit approval and led everyone to believe that they approved it. By the time the Fed’s found out about it, they didn’t want it to get out that they had cardboard people watching the bank. I’ve got to go. Wednesdays are chicken dumpling night. Millie makes the best dumplings. As he walked through town, he noticed that people wouldn’t make eye contact with him. Even his old buddy Tom Johnson ignored him. Tom, what is going on? Look sheriff, I like you a lot but I need my job. Knock-knock: Willrow! Bang – Bang-Bang: Willrow! Sheriff, it’s three in the morning, what are you doing here? I was just out for a little walk and I saw your light on. Are you drunk? Nope, but I have had a few drinks of this. He pulls out a bottle. Want a drink? No thank you. You know Willrow, there is not much that goes on in this town that I don’t know about. I know things about people that they have no idea that I know. Is there anything that you want to tell me? Let’s take a walk. Are you sure you don’t want a little drink? TO BE CONTINUED! Subject: Part Two- Great Bank Heist Date: 6/4/2009 8:52:50 AM Body: The Great Bank Heist of 08Part Two- Fox and HoundWe rode all through the night, heading west towards Carson pass and then straightway through the canyon. This whole experience has put the sheriff in a very foul mood. In all of my years, I’ve never seen him like this. The normally mild mannered and good-humored sheriff has suddenly become as grouchy as a brown bear in brambles. When I say wo, I mean wo! Do you not know what wo means? Do I have to explain it to you? Wo means wo! All right, I think they went that way. How do I know? Step down Cletus and I’ll show you. The two men walk about twenty yards northwest. The sheriff points on the ground. This is a horse dropping and, from the looks of it, it looks to be about fours hours old. Notice how the droppings trail off in this direction. That is how I know. He grabs the deputy’s hat and scoops up the dropping in it. Do you see it now? Turning to face the other men he holds the hat up in the air. Is there anyone else here who has an opinion on this matter that they would like to express? Is there anyone here who thinks that they rode straight into the desert instead of heading north towards the river? ANYONE? Good! We’ll break to water the horses and ride out in an hour. We rode all day and into the night, when we finally came upon the outlaws’ camp. We could hear them laughing as they sat around the campfire. The leader was a man named Jack Brantley. I remembered him by the pearl inlay and gold moniker on his saddlebag. Cletus, take your men around back. We’ll go in on three. Ready? One-two-three, hold it there Brantley! Sheriff? What a pleasant surprise. Would you care to join us for some smoked oysters? How is Millie? Millie is fine, Jack. Look, I’ve come to arrest you. Arrest me? For what? For bank robbery. Sheriff, clearly there has been some kind of mistake. The US statute defines bank robbery as: “to take or attempt to take by force, violence or intimidation any property or money belonging to, or in the care or possession of a bank.†The bank gave us this money for investment purposes. I have all the documentation to prove it. The sheriff puts his gun down. I’ll need to see that documentation. Unfortunately, the documentation is back at my office. Why would I bring it out here? May I add one pertinent piece of information, I have a fiduciary responsibility to my stockholders. If you falsely accuse me of a crime, you could be held personally liable. You’re not up on investment law, are you? I have some law books I can loan you. I’ve spent hours reading those books. No Jack, I haven’t read a lot of investment law books. Do you know what I like to read? I like Dickens. Have you ever read Little Dorrit? It’s a story about this poor girl who was swindled out of her inheritance and forced to grow-up in the debtor’s prison. She falls in love with the honorable Mr. Clennam who, not knowing that the renowned banker Mr. Merdle is a fraud, puts his money in Merdle’s bank. The bank fails, the town is devastated and Mr. Clennam himself gets thrown into the debtor’s prison. But, do you want to know my favorite part? My favorite part is when the scoundrel Renaud is waiting to collect his blackmail money. He has everything all planned out when suddenly the whole building collapses and crushes him. The sheriff then turns and looks Jack in the eyes. What comes around, goes around. Well Jack, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you in church on Sunday. Please give my best to Beverly and the kids. Cletus, he whispers. We are leaving. Not a single word until we are at least five miles out. This is Bullshit.. I’m getting too old for this stuff!TO BE CONTINUED Subject: The Great Bank Heist of 08 Date: 6/1/2009 2:34:19 PM Body: It has been my observation that most people don’t listen to music from strangers but they’ll read anything. So, while I’m still working on the new CD, I thought I would share with you a sample from my book. It’s a western and any resemblance to resent events is purely coincidental. The Great Bank Heist of 08 There was a cold chill in the air that day. The kind of chill that can cut into a young man’s bones. The cold steel of the guns glistened through the dense moist air as Doc Madoff and those Lehman Brothers rode through town. Suddenly, a stranger appeared. He was tall, square jawed and sat up high in the saddle. A little boy walks up to him, spits on the ground and says “who are you mister?†I am the lord’s servant, he replies. I’ve been sent to make straight the crooked way and to warn those in the den of inequity that the day of reckoning is at hand. The boy’s mother grabs him and pulls him back. Don’t you worry little missy the stranger says. Those federal reserve boys ain’t gonna let nutten bad happen. He points upward. On the rooftops were hundreds of federal marshals. Expecting gunfire, the whole town hid when Miss Fannie and the AIG boys entered the bank. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours and still no gunfire. Then the alarm sounds and someone yells we’ve been robbed! The bank doors fly open. The outlaws run out and saddle-up. As the outlaws ride out of town, the federal boys never fire a single shot. The sheriff yells to his deputy: “Cletus, run up there and see what those federal boys are doing!†A few minutes later the deputy’s head appears from the rooftop. He yells down. “Sheriff, there ain’t no federal boys up here. These are all just cardboard cutouts!†The sheriff slams down his hat. This is bullshit! ~ I’m getting too old for this. I told Millie that I’d be home for dinner tonight. It’s cornbread night. All right, round up the posse. We’ll ride out at thirteen hundred. TO BE CONTINUED Subject: it’s the Buck and Butch show! Date: 5/13/2009 2:14:10 PM Body: They say that you should never say never. However, I am confident when I say this, and may God strike me dead if I’m wrong, but you will never hear me say the words: “dude, come on over and we’ll watch Dancing with the Stars together!†I am also sure that new CD is going to be very good. Ask any author and he or she will tell you that editing is 90% of good writing. I believe that the same can be said for writing and recording music. Most CDs are recorded wham bam thank you mam. By the time you get to hear the final product, you have spent so much time / money that you’re not objective about the project. Have you ever heard a new CD where the music is tight, the vocals are good and the mix is professional but you listen to it once and throw it away? Why? ~ Because, it’s dull, boring and completely unimaginative. The overwhelming comment that I hear from people is that they love my melodies and this latest CD promises to not disappoint. The secret is to walk away from it for awhile and comeback fresh. I’ve learned to let the project lay in the tracks before committing. If it doesn’t sparkle in the tracks, you can’t expect the guy doing the mixing to perform a miracle. If it doesn’t lay right in the tracks, that means that something is not right. Artists should be the happiest people alive but if you measure success by a balance sheet, music is like some Sisyphean curse. You might remember Sisyphus. He was the king in Greek mythology who was cursed to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity. Nothing in life is for sure but God knows that I’ve had plenty of people tell me “if you ever make it to the top, give me a call and we’ll do lunch.†Unfortunately the new music business is like what Gertrude Stein said about Oakland:†there isn't any there there.†If a young Bob Dylan was to break on the music scene today they would tell him to dumb down his lyrics and keep his mouth shut, give him a cowboy hat and ship him off to country music purgatory. Can you imagine listening to Bobby Dylan and the Jewish Cowboys?I have this reoccurring nightmare. I’m wearing rhinestones and on stage at the Ryman Auditorium. The curtains open and a voice says “it’s the Buck and Butch show! And now, here they are, those crazy cowboys, Buck and Butch.†I say, I’m picken and Buck says I’m grinnin and we’ve got whiskey and dance hall girls! Then the voice says: “And now, Butch is going to play one of his favorites, a little Jimmy Dicken’s tune called Take an Old Cold Tater and Wait!†Subject: No Rewind Button Date: 11/21/2008 4:10:51 PM Body: Let’s see, what’s new since we last talked? Well, four of my songs have been getting some airplay throughout the country, the collapse of US capitalism and, oh, I finished that new song that I was telling you about (No Rewind Button). It turned out very nice. The gap between how things sound in my head and how they turn out in the final product is starting to narrow. I’m not saying that if the gap ever goes to zero that the Angels’ anthem of grandeur would set off a harmonic convergence that tears through the universe, thus causing a vortex that pulls the earth through its center and brings an end to the world. But, I wouldn’t rule it out either. It’s a risk that I’m willing to take. No Rewind Button reminds us that most stories involving a man and wife, kids and a mistress seldom have happy endings. In this case the hard working protagonist spends long hours climbing the corporate ladder so that he can provide a better life for his family. Blinded by a powerful narcotic called pride he becomes self-absorbed with his career and falls into an affair. Thinking that he will never he get caught, he says: “if no one knows, no one gets hurt.†Unfortunately, she finds out and it’s a deal breaker. Suddenly he is outside looking in. Reduced to weekend visitation with his son, he cries out “there ain’t no rewind button for this life.†The song starts soft, builds in intensity and goes out shouting on the mountain tops with Zeppelin drums, guns blazing, amps blaring and sweat dripping. WARNING: this song rocks! Listeners may experience a temporary plunging and twirling sensation. Please keep your arms inside the car at all times and remain seated until the song comes to a complete stop. Attached is your free copy. My gift to you….enjoy.. Just get the name right. It’s Castetter with a “C.†Please send me your feedback. We may roll this into a project. If you would like a signed CD of this song, please send $5.00 to:Norway Drive Music5119 Norway DriveIndianapolis, In 46219317-402-0349 Credits..Lead Vocal: Butch CastetterBackground Vocal: John Mc DowellBass: Craig MartindaleDrums: Charley Bushor.Guitars: Butch CastetterRecorded at: Norway Drive StudiosMixed by: Bob Becker (Counter Clockwise Music)Mastered by: Alan Johnson (Static Shack Recording)Additional Recording: Static Shack Recording. Special thanks to Bob Becker who has the patience of Job. Subject: Brother Butch Date: 6/20/2008 8:48:29 PM Body: Imagine that you came home one day and found that someone had broken into your house. You go inside and discover that they took your high def TV. On the counter is a note. The note says: I love the house man. You have impeccable taste. On one hand you want to shoot this guy and on the other hand you want to say: did you notice the detail work on the crown molding? Next time you’re coming, let me know and I’ll put out some beer. Sure piracy causes hardship but with so much music out there, you kind of feel special. Out of all the artists they could steal from, they chose you to rob. After all, you’re an artist, we’re used to hardship.Everyone knows that the music business is broken but if you don’t get to the root, the problem never goes away. You may blame this harmonic apocalypse on the Four Horsemen (Clear Channel, Sony, Warner, Ticket-Master) but there is something that you should know. No they are not saints. They have never claimed to be saints. In this day in age, expecting corporations to have a moral compass is wishful thinking. ASCAP (American Society of Composers Authors and Publisher), on the other hand, is a non-profit organization created for the sole purpose of protecting its members. Not since Jim and Tammy Faye Baker have I seen such hypocrisy. They sued a bar in Texas $700,000 for playing live music. Yet, Sony and Warner openly admitted fraud. If that doesn’t spell reasonable cause, I don’t know what does. They never filed a civil suit to recover damages on behave of their members. Huh, what’s wrong with this picture? The latest round of sanctimonious platitudes is a thing called the Songwriters’ Bill of Rights. It’s a petition that says that artists should be paid for their music. They want to take it to congress but the last time I checked, we already have copyright laws in this country. That doesn’t seem to be the problem. What are they going to do, push for the death penalty? What ASCAP really wants, so bad that they can taste it, is to get their fingers in this internet music.Brothers and sisters please gather around and lend Brother Butch your ears. I have returned from the mountain top, where I had a vision. I saw a girl posting her wedding song on her MySpace page and there were licensing fees, service charges, renewal agreements, contracts, lawyers and music police. I saw men taking money from the offering plate and putting it in their pockets. This money is for the children of the starving artist fund, I said. Lest you beg a lashing, you best keep quite, they replied. Then I heard a mighty voice, as the sound of many waters. Brother Butch, it said, I have heard the peoples’ cry. They long for meaning and melody. You have been chosen to lead my people out of bondage and into the land of majestic melody. Go speak to the rulers of the harmonic apocalypse. Tell them that they have violated the sanctity of the public trust and have lost the hearts of the people. They must repent from their greedy ways, lest they parish. Subject: Click Click Date: 6/13/2008 10:10:48 PM Body: Do you hear that? Wait listen. Do you hear it? Click-Click…….Click-Click-Click. That’s the sound of people clicking on my music. Like little seeds that have taken root, people are slowly discovering it. The only indication of airplay I usually get is when the website pegs but the tell tale sign is the regular number of people that lookup lyrics on my website. You don’t bother looking up lyrics, unless you like the song. There it is again: Click-Click-Click. I love that sound. That’s what keeps me going. You write music in solitude but you share it with the world. There is absolutely nothing like having people enjoy your music. It’s like having four thousand friends around the world. If you have never caught yourself saying, “Wow did I do that?†I encourage you to find your gift. It might not be music. It could be anything. Everyone has been given a gift but never cast your pearls before swine. If you have some big idea or big dream, be careful with whom you confide it in. These things have to reach critical mass before they can withstand the assault of ridicule. A sense of mastery is power and to quote Herb Cohen: “Unlike beauty, power is in the eye of the holder. If you think that you got it, you’ve got it. If you don’t think that you’ve got it, you ain’t got it.†You might not be power hungry and out to rule the world but sometimes, if you get game, you’ve got to give game back. My new song “No Rewind Button†is in mixing phase right now. The gentleman doing the mixing is the son of Rich Becker, who recorded many of the Motown classics. We all enter this world the same way and we shall all leave it the same way. Music is a mask that allows us to share our humanity. Through it we can express our vulnerability, our pain and our nakedness. Subject: New Song Coming Out Date: 6/1/2008 10:33:44 AM Body: If you're staring at your economic stimulus check and thinking; how will I ever spend all of this money, may I suggest a couple of Butch Castetter CDs? Imagine helping put America back on the road to prosperity and helping a starving artist all at the same time. On the news front: 419 North has been getting some airplay on XM radio. I also have a new single "No Rewind Button" coming out soon. It's classic Castetter; a song with a narrative that tells a story coupled with100 proof music. It starts out easy, with a haunting melody, gets up and rocks and goes out on the mountaintops with guns blazing and amps blaring. It comes down off of that last note with the sweat dripping and both barrels smoking. One could argue that there is too much music today and that the last thing the world wants is more music, hence all the contempt for unknown artists. A life insurance salesman gets better treatment. My hope is that good music will always make room for itself and my goal is to create a body of work that speaks for itself. The following is a dramatization of a conversation that I plan to have in the future.Music Executive. Be gone from me, thou peasant singer/songwriter person. Thou art not worthy to be in my presence. ButchYeh lord, though I be just a humble peasant singer/songwriter person, I beseech the sovereign's patience. Hast thou considered my many musical treasures? With these treasures, thou shall be known all throughout the land as the wisest among men and find much favor in the bosoms of many fair maidens. Music Executive.Please tell me more of these treasures that you speak of. You can follow the formula and target a specific audience. You can write songs and put on shows designed for that narrowly focussed audience or you can write what you like and discover a latent audience. Case and point: classic rock has spent zero dollars marketing to the twenty something generation. Yet, I've met a lot of kids that like that good old days' music. I'm amazed that you can re-release thirty year old Led Zeppelin music and outsell the new stuff. That's the thing about the iPod, it's all about the song. It's not about the artist. They just like music. Unfortunately, they seem to be insulted at the idea of paying for music. From a creative standpoint, I'm just starting to scratch the surface. I have a shoebox full of new song ideas. How good are they? My job is to write it and sing it. It's up to the audience to decide how good it is. I think they are good. Subject: “419 Northâ€, makes CD Baby’s Top Forty Date: 5/12/2008 12:52:35 PM Body: Currently my CD, “419 Northâ€, is on CD Baby’s Top Forty best selling American Traditional Rock albums. It is also getting airplay on XM radio (Kaffeinebuzz) and available for downloading on Apple iTunes, Rhapsody and dozens of other download sites. I’m not sure how this story ends but I know how it started. Iron sharpens iron. I well remember one night in Chicago when I took the Strat to an open stage at Buddy Guy’s Legends. In most bars the band is little more than audio wallpaper. However, at Buddy Guy’s, people come from all over the world for the music. Buddy sits out in the audience and listens. Expecting the usual cliquish attitude from the guitar players, I was pleasantly surprised with how down to earth these people were. Introduced as Butch from Indy, I had at least a dozen players come up to me and say: “Indy? We used to play the Noodle… Damn shame about that place.†Lesson one, “there’s no hiding place on stage.†DIVE RIGHT IN…. The format goes like this, they group you together and normally a singer sings a verse and everyone takes turns playing the instrumental break. Wow, there I was, a nobody, a less than nobody, on the same stage that Hendrix, Clapton and Muddy Waters had played on. I kept telling myself “what do you have to lose? Even if you screw-up nobody knows your name.†We played a few songs and then someone asked: does anyone have a song they want to do? “Yeah I got one, I said.†I walked up to the mic and started off with Last Night Down in Houston and before I got through the first six bars the house was rocking like nothing I’ve ever heard before. Afterwards, as I was walking towards the door, I heard Buddy ask: who is that guy? Someone said: “some guy from Indiana.†I was so wired afterwards that I couldn’t get to sleep that night and I’ve been ruined for honest work ever since. Lesson two, “nobody owes you their attention.†Flash forward a year. I’m back in Indy playing at a hole in the wall. Nobody knows about that night in Chicago and nobody cares. It’s one of those places were people are constantly going out to the parking lot to get high, deal drugs or God only knows what and then come back in. The headliner was some heavy metal garage band and it was a young heavy metal crowd. Anyone can play for an enthusiastic crowd but forcing an indifferent crowd to stop talking and listen is how you hone your craft. One of the best compliments that I ever received was when I accidentally overheard a twenty year old say “Oh yeah, Butch rocks!†A few weeks back I was playing at a place in Marietta Georgia when I noticed that you could hear a pin drop and every eye in the house was on this stranger from Indiana. “The Grammys.†I’ll try to watch the Grammys tonight but chances are that I’ll get bored and switch stations. It’s a shame that the business has been run in the ground. The sole purpose of the major record labels is to tirelessly dig for the gold nuggets. However at some point artists became a commodity item and how an artist looked schematically on paper was paramount. In other words, the potential for a return on investment became the deciding factor. Hence, Brittney, Amy Winehouse, Kanye West and don’t forget Kelly Pickler. You have to wonder what the rest of the world thinks of Americans when they hear Kelly Pickler ask if Europe is a country. “Standing out in a stack of thousands.†The major record labels have out lived their usefulness and finally the conduit between artist and listener is opening. Unfortunately, it’s like having a thousand cable stations to choose from but the good news is that the focus is back on music rather than the conduit. It has to be that way because when you’re sorting through ten thousand unknown songs, either a song has it or it doesn’t. As Warhol once said “just keep making art and leave it to the critics to decide if it’s good or not. All I will say is: not many unknown artists get their first project mentioned in Rolling Stone and their second project on CD Baby’s Top Forty. Hold on to those signed CD’s. While the music will live on in digital perpetuity, we probably won’t press a million copies
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